Hate 'Last Jedi?' The Star Wars Expanded Universe is worse

Hate 'Last Jedi?' The Star Wars Expanded Universe is worse

7 years ago
Anonymous $1bh8zaeyQS

https://www.cnet.com/news/hate-the-last-jedi-star-wars-expanded-universe-was-way-worse/

After the success of "The Force Awakens" and "Rogue One," it's hard to imagine "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" would become one of the most divisive films in the franchise. Yet, here we are. The film has been in theaters for barely than a week and there's already a Change.org petition asking Disney remove it from the official Star Wars canon and "re-make Episode VIII properly." Even the petition's creator admits the demand is patently ridiculous, though its absurdity lies not in the petition itself, but in its justification -- that "The Last Jedi" needs to be culled from the Star Wars timeline because it doesn't live up to the expectations of fans of the comics and novels that make up the now defunct Star Wars Expanded Universe (EU). Guys. I grew up reading those books too. They were pulpy, ridiculous fun, but that doesn't mean they were good. In fact, a lot of the Star Wars EU was really, really bad. Here are some our favorite terrible stories from the Star Wars Expanded Universe.

Remember that time Luke fell in love with a dead woman? In the novel "Children of the Jedi," Luke gets trapped on an Imperial Dreadnaught, where the spirit of a long-dead Jedi living in the ship's computer helps him open doors and hide from his attackers. Luke falls in love with the possessed spaceship computer and eventually starts dating her after she transfers her consciousness into the body of one of Skywalker's dying students. By comparison, Han and Leia's romance was pretty straightforward: Boy rescues girl, girl calls boy a nerfherder, boy gets frozen in carbonite, girl rescues boy. You know, a classic love story. How about when Emperor Palpatine cloned himself dozens of times? Luke's girlfriend isn't the only Jedi who made a habit of leaping from body to body. In the "Star Wars: Dark Empire" comics, Darth Vader's final sacrifice was rendered moot when it was revealed the Emperor had a stronghold of cloned bodies to transfer his soul into after the destruction of the second Death Star. Oh, and Luke was so impressed by Emperor Palpatine's immortality he turned to the dark side for a while. Neat. What about the endless march of Death Star clones? Did I mention both of the above stories revolve around Death Star-like super weapons? They do. The EU is littered with planet-killer wannabes. There's Centerpoint Station's planet (and star) destroying hyperspace tractor beam, the particle disintegrator warheads fired from the planet killing Galaxy Gun, the Mass Shadow Generator's ability to crack a planet's crust through gravity manipulation and the invincible, solar system destroying Sun Crusher. There's dozens more, too -- and that's not even counting weapons like the Darksaber or Conqueror, which just cram the original Death Star's laser onto other spaceships. And you thought "The Force Awakens'" Starkiller Base was uncreative. Speaking of the Death Star, did you know it was secretly a sentient bounty hunter droid? In "Empire Strikes Back," Darth Vader hires bounty hunters to track down the Millennium Falcon, and says he wants the Rebels alive, famously telling Boba Fett: "No disintegration."