https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/10/26/blackmail_video/

Something for the Weekend, Sir? First, an apology. Allow me to express my sincere regret for any offence caused by the videotape you will soon be receiving of your faithful servant buffing the old banana, courtesy of some mysterious stranger.

Well, perhaps not so much offence as surprise. After all, it is jolly unusual to receive a videotape in the post these days and the chances are that you won't have a VCR on which to play it. Rest assured, however, that the cassette is on its way. I do hope you accept PAL.