https://thenextweb.com/distract/2018/07/27/are-people-dumb-or-is-the-world-just-hard/

It’s hot in Europe right now.

It’s so hot that every time I stand up from sitting down, I leave another puddle, exposing my perpetual swamp ass to the world. I’ve taken four cold showers today, yet I still stink. Every time I accidentally come into contact with other human flesh, I instantly recoil in disgust. The boiling temperature is turning me into a kind of moist vampire.